Kampusku Sayang, Kampusku Malang
Sunday, 20 May 2007

KAMPUSKU SAYANG, KAMPUSKU MALANG
2003

Suka duka

Hari-hari pertama kerja memang sudah terasa ada something wrong. Para dosen pada nggosip kalo sudah pada siap2 mau hengkang. Ada yang lamar sana, lamar sini dll. Nasibnya seperti di ujung tanduk, Sebuah rumor bahwa kerja disana bisa cari sambilan di luar, namun disadari atau tidak yang terjadi justru sebaliknya, disinilah yang jadi sambilan, sementara kerja luar adalah yang utama..hehehe...

Bahkan Pak Gung pertama diterima dia masih ragu2, katanya ini hanyalah batu loncatan, meloncat ke Gedung seberang jalan. Yah dia bernasib lebih baik, dia sempat "oncat dulu dengan hormat", diterima di Trikomsel dan lagi training di Jakarta. Juga Mba Ika yang sekarang ada di sebuah BPR Ungaran, triknya bagus lagi, sempat kerja di luar 1 bulan sebelum konangan hehehe...itung2 gaji sini buat tambahan katanya. Sudah dibilang, disini hanya samben..hihihi.
Oya, jadi inget waktu jaga malem dia ketakutan gara2 Fenomena yang ada di LAB 7. Yah benar or tidak aku juga sering mengkorog kalo jaga di Lab sendirian. Tapi aku yakin gak ada apa2 selain bayanganku sendiri. Karena terlalu menyukai hal-hal berbau horor, acara2 TV, crita2 dll. Padahal efeknya malah jadi ketakutan sendiri.

Test penerimaan
Aku salah satu karyawan yang diterima setelah melewati beberapa test. Dari test yang pernah kualami, ini test komputer yang paling berkualitas, dan lumayan sulit menurutku. Hanya orang2 yang pengalaman meng-install dan pernah memasang jaringan yang akan bisa. Hasilnya, hanya 5 orang yang diterima, sempat besar kepala juga waktu itu. Herannya teman2ku banyak yang bahkan tidak mudeng komputer, kenapa bisa masuk?
Jebul, kita2 ini bisa lolos karena kami-lah yang mau dibayar murah. Gajinya? Rahasia! yang jelas tidak lebih/kurang dari UMR, alias UMR itu dipotong PPh21 yang hingga sekarang aku masih cari bgmna hitung PPh21 itu. Dalam wejangan pengantar kami diterima sebagai karyawan, Ka Lab-ku mengatakan "...kita itu bla-bla-bla........, Ning ra ono duwite"
Aku sendiri tidak masalah, sudah bekerja itu sudah bagus berapapun gajinya, aku tidak pernah kerja setengah2, sebisa mungkin sebaik-baiknya, yang penting aku bisa kerja, dapat fasilitas yang bisa dimanfaatkan, menimba pengalaman, menimba ilmu, nimba air dll. Itu sudah bagus bagiku

PE EM BE
Beberapa kali rapat, salah satunya semua karyawan mendapat pangkat tambahan yaitu "Marketing", karena PMB (Penerimaan Mahasiswa Baru) pada tahun ajaran itu merosot drastis. PMB adalah merupakan NYAWA sebuah perguruan tinggi dimanapun. Jumlah siswa yang ada amat mempengaruhi kelangsungan hidup lembaga tersebut. Maka kami pasukan Musketteer (baca Maarketing) harus bergerilya mencari sasaran, kapan saja dimana saja, dg cara apa saja. Maka dengan segala upaya kami semua berusaha mendapatkan minimal 1 dan maksimal 1000 gundul siswa (yen isooooooo). Dan gundul-gundul itu nantinya akan dapat potongan uang gedung Rp. 750 ribu. Dijanjikan bagi kami setiap gundul dihargai Rp. 100 ribu plus stempel gambar Jempol di jidat, sebagai tanda bahwa kami telah berhasil lolos dari kandang macan.
Aku sendiri menggunakan strategi sebar brosur kemana-mana, juga dengan cara menenderkan tender, artinya barang siapa dapat memasukkan siswa, kuberi dia 50rb per gundul. Syahdan, waktu berganti, setelah kami lolos dari kandang macan, ternyata kami terdampar di kandang buaya. Different pond different fish, esuk dele sore tempe. Muncul lagi aturan baru, bahwa jika siswa tidak diantar sendiri, maka hangus uang 100 rb itu. Bumi gonjang-ganjing langit kelap2, lampu byarpet2.
Untung aku tidak dapat orang dari tender maupun dari brosur, lha kalo dapet malah aku jadi punya hutang ke orang2 yang mencari murid. Ambil contoh dari orang yang kujanjikan 50rb, kalo dapat 20 orang aku harus bayar ke mreka 50 rb x 20 = Rp. 1.000.000 padahal aturan baru seperti itu. Harak malah tombok. Betul tidak?
Oh ya, herannya kenapa kampus ini tidak ngiklan lagi disaat-saat seperti ini? Padahal dulu di TV gencar banget iklannya, setiap saat selalu liat sinyo kecil towo "...Makannya daftar aja !!....". Jujur saja aku dulu sedikit gething liat iklan itu, eh ndilalah kalau Tuhan sudah berkehendak, lha kok aku ketrima kerja da sana...ck..ck..ck. Aku liat semua PTS rata-rata ngiklan di TV, tapi ini kok malah tidak. Mungkin apa tunggu gedung baru jadi, atau mungkin Yayasan lagi Tong-Pes, gak taulah, seribu kemungkinan bisa saja


DOOM DAY
Lagi-lagi ada rapat, kali ini tentang penentuan nasib kami para karyawan, mengingat nyawa lembaga alias PMB yang sudah diakali dengan berbagai macam cara, masih tetap merosot tajam. Akhirnya dengan amat sangat menyesal sekali, pihak Yayasan menyatakan akan merampingkan diri agar terlihat lebih cantik.
Kami semua karyawan baik karyawan berstatus tetap atau tidak tetap, atau karyawan babat alas (artinya sudah lama jadi karyawan, bahkan sejak lembaganya sendiri belum berdiri) wajib daftar ulang dengan menyampaikan lamaran baru untuk diseleksi lagi. Tibalah saatnya hari penentuan itu, satu persatu dipanggil. Di depan map-map sudah tersusun menjadi 2 bagian, satu bagian ke sorga yang lainnya ke neraka. Yang dipanggil bagian pertama sudah pasti harus istirahat di rumah, setelah mengambil gaji mereka yang terakhir. Di setiap seksi sehari sebelumnya sudah ada acara hujan tangis, terutama para mbak2 itu. Bagi yang laki-laki cukup mbrambang saja, walaupun dalam hati sudah nangis gerung-gerung dan gulung-gulung hehe..
Bukan cuma soal yang bocor, seleksi ini juga sudah bocor beberapa hari sebelumnya. Maka sudah tampak diraut muka para calon penghuni sorga atau neraka. Aku waktu itu hanya good thinking saja, tenang2 saja. Pasrah, karena semua adalah hak prerogatif Yayasan yang melakukan seleksi secara OBJEKTIF. Tidak memandang bulunya lebat atau tidak, pintar atau bodoh, baik atau buruk, gila atau waras semua bagian pasti kebagian. Di Lab komputer, ada 6 lab yang masing-masing 2 laboran, per lab dibabat masing-masing 1 laboran. Aku waktu itu bagian Lab 1 bareng sama Mbak Ani, beliau berstatus babat alas yang memiliki kekebalan diplomatik anti PHK. Jelas-jelas aku harus oncat dengan hormat. Ada lagi kriteria lain, adalah yang berpangkat DIII yang harus out, entahlah soal kriteria itu, yang jelas kalau atasan sudah menunjuk supaya jadi batu, maka jadilah batu. Itulah hak prerogatif.
Contoh yang mencengangkan adalah Mbak Ester yang sudah mengabdi 3 tahun jadi SekLab, perkiraan akan diangkat jadi tetap, tapi nasib berkata lain. Beliau harus rela menjadi ibu rumah tangga yang baik di rumah. Seorang Bapak karyawan senior, bahkan mengatakan sudah habis air matanya kalau hanya untuk meratapi re-generasi karyawan. Itu adalah pemandangan yang sudah tidak aneh di lembaga ini.

Yah memang begitulah hidup, disinilah letak keindahannya, kalau monoton ndak da papa kan malah njelehi, ya to ? Bagaimanapun juga dalam waktu yang singkat itu sudah muncul rasa cinta kami kepada kampus dan teman2 satu geng. Mereka yang keluar atau yang masih didalam, pasti mempunyai rasa saling memiliki dan tidak lilo untuk meninggalkan kampus, tapi roda kehidupan terus berjalan, siapapun pasti menginginkan yang lebih baik. Masih banyak sebenarnya yang ingin kuberikan dan kusumbangkan kepada PTS tercinta ini segenap tenaga dan pikiran, walaupun hanya disusuki UMR-Pph21.
Yah semoga dengan kampus baru, manajemen baru, dan nama barunya, dapat memperbaiki kekurangan2nya di masa lalu dan tetap jaya mencerdaskan bangsa.


posted by Nuga @ 5/20/2007 07:44:00 pm

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